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Date Gal - Love, Sex and Relationships

Date Gal - September 2008

Is being single making us poor?



I was chatting to my friend Nadia the other night about dating. We're two single professional ladies who have a fair income – I wouldn't say we're as rich as Donald Trump but we're surviving. We both often date a lot as well and we were discussing how being single is actually quite expensive.

There are a couple of reasons we've come this conclusion. Firstly, we've adapted the whole get out there and meet as many people as we can because you never know, one might be Mr. Right. In saying this though, it gets rather expensive going on a date 2-3 times a week. Consider dinner, drinks, taxis, outfits – you could end up spending $500 a week and who has that kind of spare cash these days? Then take in looking after yourself – gym workouts, hair, make up, tan, etc… we're spending most of our monthly income on dating! Sure, it's really up to us how much we spend but you don't want to come across to a potential partner as a tight ass.


I started seeing a guy and although we only see each other every couple of weeks, it's a really expensive time when we're together. We usually spend the weekend together, so take in dinners, lunches, breakfasts, drinks, taxis, shopping, etc – sometimes I don't get out of a weekend under $500. Strewth, so much for saving my pennies!

The other side of the argument is being single in general. I was at the butchers the other day getting some meat for my dinner. I asked for one piece of steak and she said "Just one? It's cheaper to get two." Well didn't I feel like a loser. No I don't want two, just one, for me. Nothing wrong with that! But she was right; cooking for one is far more expensive than cooking for two. Hence, why most singles dine out on take away – stuff the effort cooking for one. Just get take away and the leftovers can be lunch the next day right?


Then think about renting where you are now? I pay a bomb for my place and I just think if I was with someone, how much cheaper would it be? Or even more, I could actually afford a mortgage and repayments, if I met the man of my dreams and we moved in together! Instead I am spending dead money on rent!

So what do we do? Just suck it up and deal with it?

What do you think? Is being single making us poor?


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Speaking up about 'bad sex'



An interesting article passed my desk yesterday from News.Com that suggested the internet is credited for more and more people talking and viewing sex than ever before, however when it comes to real life relationships, we're not speaking up about our problems with getting jiggy in the bedroom.

This is a pretty fair call! Sure, there are more of us jumping online these days viewing porn, or chatting to potential partners which in some cases gets pretty down and dirty. It's like the internet has provided us a forum in which all people, shy or totally liberated can go on and experiment and be as open as possible about sex.

It's pretty easy to sit behind a computer screen and write to someone about your sexual fantasies but when it comes to real life confrontation, are we being as open and liberated?

This article suggests not and again, I think that it's spot on. Let's face it, we're not all going to have the most amazing sex like they do in the movies - it just doesn't work like that. With our lifestyles becoming more and more hectic... we are finding little time to jump in for some boudoir action or it may be the case, we're so tired and exhausted our libidos are out the window and we don't want sex. Then there's the lucky couples who have gorgeous children and it's really hard to find the time or energy to get down and dirty. Now they're time problems but what about the other little problems... perhaps to deal with men.

I was once confronted with the situation of somehow not being able to turn my man on... apparently it wasn't my fault, he had stage fright, but after several tries, it seemed the problem was a little more long term. The thing is we never talked about it - it was a non issue to him, but to me it stopped us having amazing sex or sex at all.

This is what the article is talking about... we no longer talk about problems with sex. We no longer speak up if the sex is bad. There's no communication in the bedroom and this is a major problem. Is that why more of us are turning to the internet to get our jollies? Communication is the key in any relationship and put time management aside, don't we all want to have amazing sex with the people we love???

Why do you think we're not talking up about sex? It's human nature right?

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Bring on the A**Holes!!!



A few months ago, my closest friends had an intervention with me! We laugh about it now, but they seemed to think that I only dated celebrities and sportspeople! Well, okay I didn't do it deliberately but yeah I did have the tendency to date people with a profile. So they thought it was time to put an end to it as I always seemed to get treated like crap by these particular people and end up having my heart broken (well not that extreme but yeah they didn’t make me feel amazing afterwards)!

I thought about why I was attracted to these types of people and I just couldn’t work it out- maybe it was because they worked in the same industry and understood the stress and pressures. Or perhaps I liked they had an exciting lifestyle. They funny thing was they did treat me like crap. Now I look back they were complete a**holes! They only ever wanted a booty call, they flirted with other women in front of me, they never called or they called only when they wanted something, and they only ever talked about themselves and didn’t really care much for my life! Easy to look back now and realize all this but at the time, I was lapping it up. I wanted more. I was attracted and fell for the a**hole!

We’ve all done it – maybe it’s the notion of ‘treat em mean and keep em keen.’ Well it works! For some reason we keep chasing after and needing to be with people who have no respect for us at all! Why?

I asked a few friends this question and totally agree with what they thought. Sometime the fact we have been single for a long time, we lower our standards and put up with being treated with no respect at all. We just want to be with someone that so we put up with the booty calls, the lack of regard for us and the relationship that is going nowhere!

It could be also that we love the thrill of the chase. I know that once I meet someone, that if give me everything on a silver platter and not keep some mystery, I lose interest and give them the flick. But the a**holes of the whole capture our attention and keep us. They play us so we keep coming back for me until in the end when we’re looking like desperate bunny boilers, they flick us for good!

I know it’s hard but dating people like this is no good for our self esteem or our happiness. Yes it’s exciting at the start but do you really want to be treated like crap all your life by someone who is suppose to love you. I met someone not long ago, after dating years with people who had a profile and you know what… I couldn’t be happier! I have someone who adores me, spoils me, there’s no crap – he calls when he says he will and he treats me like a princess. No celeb or sports player will ever treat me the same! So I have a lot to thank my friends for!

So tell me, why do you think we date the bad girls and boys?

Till next time my dating friends,

D.G x
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A Chick's View: Looks aren't all that matter!



I just read a blog commenting about how in today's society and with every sort of media we are subjected to, if we're ugly we're not going to find love! BULLOCKS!!!! I get so outraged when I hear things like that. I can actually feel steam coming out of my ears. I don't understand why people have to think such negative things because you know what, you do that, you'll just attract negative things into your life


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Sex or Sleep?



If you have seen ‘Sex and the City: The Movie’ there was a classic scene where Miranda and Steve were having some adventures in the boudoir when half way through, Miranda was happy for it to hurry up and finish!!! God forbid. As awful as it sounds though, I think most women have been in the same situation


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