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Date Gal - Love, Sex and Relationships

Are women too fussy when it comes to men?



So everyone keeps banging on about this supposed man drought that we're having... ok so there may be more single women than men but I think women might have a little something to do with that... we're just too fussy!!!

The truth is... there are plenty of men out there - at the gym, the pub, work, everywhere! And they are looking for lovely ladies too. It may be true that some are looking for one night stands and can be complete a*holes, but I truly believe there are a lot of men out there like us, looking for love.


The only problem is that women are turning their noses up at these guys playing the 'fussy' card. We're picking their faults and coming to the conclusion that they're not good enough for us.

I am first to admit that I am too fussy and so are half my friends. We whine that we can't meet a guy or there are no men out there but at the end of the day, there are, we're just not giving them a chance! We're very quick to make up our minds when we meet someone, that they're not for us, so quick that we hardly know them.

But here's the other side of the argument... sure, women are fussy but why push something if nothing is there. Ideally, you want to be physically and mentally attracted to someone, right? But what happens if something is missing? Do you keep at it trying to find that attraction or is a waste of time?

Isn't love suppose to come easily?

True, maybe women need to give men more time before closing the book on them - maybe we might not get a lover but more a great friend out of them. Who knows, they might just be perfect for one of our friends.


What do you think - are women too fussy? Are we giving up too easily on what could be a wonderful thing?

Let me know!

Til next time,
D.G x
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24 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. November 21st 2008 @ 22:13. Lady Henrietta Muddling Says:
I have a theory that online dating agencies, by introducing profile sections such as About Me and My Ideal Partner has led to fussiness on both sides.

It's almost like someone should write, 'My ideal partner is someone with OCD who spends each day updating their profile until they get both sections perfect and ideal. And who doesn't want to take a risk meeting someone who doesn't exsactly meet the 101 criteria listed.'
2. November 22nd 2008 @ 01:08. Date Gal Says:
Great point Lady.... you're so right!!! We have too many criterias about our perfect partner!!! No wonder that list dwindles down as we get older and we realise no one is perfect!
3. November 22nd 2008 @ 06:24. jamoz Says:
Are women too fussy? Yes! I've been in situations where women have chosen to look too deeply at minor insignficant physical or material things instead of my genuineness and left me wondering what I did. Only to realize that it's not about "me" it's more about what I don't have to fit the bill...wrong height, wrong body shape, not enough education, car wrong size/model/year etc etc etc.

It'd be nice to be seen as someone who can love and be loved rather than what I don't have that makes me ineligible for a females attention.
4. November 22nd 2008 @ 08:20. Journeywoman Says:
I don't think there's such a thing as too fussy when it comes to selecting a guy to be your partner, and the physical attraction, at the very least, has to be there from the beginning. You can't force something that isn't there, like you said: when you meet the right man, you just know.

Everyone else goes straight to the friend zone.
5. November 22nd 2008 @ 09:18. Michaelie Says:
I'd prefer to think of it as smart.

For instance, I am very skilled at recruiting. I can pick up on warning signs that seem inconsequential at first, but develop into big problems if that person is offered an important role.

I tend to do the same with my personal life. I don't expect zero flaws - in fact, that scares me more - but I know what kinds of flaws I am willing to deal with.

Ok, so yes, I am fussy! But I hope you appreciate my spin on it.

6. November 22nd 2008 @ 10:18. Date Gal Says:
Great comments guys!

Janoz - you know what, at the end of the day, it's their lost! You're a great guy and you just haven't found that great girl for you. But in the meantime, keep dating and work out what works for you. You'll meet a lot of thorns before you meet your rose. Soppy but true!

JourneyWoman - nice thought! You know what you want and I love it. And it's great you put the ones not right for you still in the friends catergory. Can't have enough friends!

Michaelie - love your spin on it! Smart girl. Love your thoughts!

Do you guys think men are just as fussy?
7. November 22nd 2008 @ 10:20. Morgan Bell Says:
did you ever hear the "New Husbands For Sale" joke?

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item fro m a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

8. November 22nd 2008 @ 10:30. Date Gal Says:
Morgan - what a brilliant joke! Thanks so much!!! Very funny!
9. November 22nd 2008 @ 12:02. Journeywoman Says:
ahahaha that's classic Morgan!

It seems it's just us girls who are too fussy...
10. November 22nd 2008 @ 12:43. CraigH Says:
It seems that many women (not all) expect that men should have all the right traits, yet the men should ignore the fact that the women themselves may not be absolutely perfect. Apparently, men are supposed to accept flaws in women, that the women won't accept in men. Or am I just too cynical?
11. November 23rd 2008 @ 01:15. Lilla Says:
DG,

Yes I think they have become horribly so, and I think it has left them on a merry go round of failed love affairs, desperate, dateless and hackneyed ... perhaps even causing the few decent blokes to become even shyer to come out of the woodwork.

Marriage is a bit of a lottery for both sides, no matter how fussy (or careful) you are) thats all there is to it.

Lilla ...


12. November 23rd 2008 @ 07:03. Cibbuano Says:
are women too fussy? I don't know - it seems the argument could go either way.

Certainly, the stereotype is that women are too fussy, yet, despite this, men still seem to be able to find partners. That would suggest that women are doing just fine, right?

A greek friend told me that there was a bit of a dating crisis in Greece, because a lot of Greek men were settling down with non-Greek immigrants, like Armenians, who were much less fussy, which was leaving a large population of unmarried Greek women, with few alternatives. Who knows if that's really true, though.

Biologically speaking, though, it would seem that women MUST be fussy - like colourful male birds, or gorillas beating their chest, or bighorn sheep headbutting, we've evolved to show off for our mates, and the females are to pick the ones they like.

Can we fight it? What's love got to do (got to do) with it?
13. November 23rd 2008 @ 07:20. Date Gal Says:
Loving the comments guys (especially the joke) - keep them coming!

CraigH - I don't think you're being cynical at all! I think women talk about themselves about having the ideal partner and in some cases it's a little competition who can snare the cutest guy, the richest, the one who spoils us the most... but does that make us truly happy. I do believe however some guys have strict standards too. There was one guy I knew who said he was totally attracted to me but because I wasn't a size 6 he couldn't date me. What the? I don't want to look like a stick and I have so much more to offer than skin and bones!!! So I think both sides may be a little fussy!

14. November 23rd 2008 @ 07:22. Date Gal Says:
Lillia - I think you're right! Perhaps we all, men and women have to stop complainging about being single and be a little more accepting and open minded! My Mum once told me she couldn't stand my Dad when she first met him but after 36 years they are still madly in love. She gave hime a chance!

Cibbuano... ah Tina Turner! Can always trust you to make us smile with your comments!
15. November 23rd 2008 @ 08:38. Linh Says:
I'm fussy.
I'm a woman.
I'm so happily single.
Love my independence.
Will surrender if I find my soulmate.

I guess that's what most women are like, but maybe I'm generalising. Some women will settle for any man, then get their heart broken many times over.
16. November 23rd 2008 @ 10:54. Wynona Lavota Says:
I don't think I'm fussy in the slightest. I have no idea where these 'good' men are because all ones I've been exposed to have no ambition, try to afirm their masculinty at the expense of my femininity (in other words they disrespect and try to contol me) and can't give me what I really want- interesting conversation

Although I should point out that I too am happily single atm so I haven't been looking too hard.
17. November 24th 2008 @ 07:48. alt_ed Says:
Well, my boyfriend is fat so I don't think I'm too fussy lol... I'm also not a women so perhaps my input here is a little redundant haha
18. November 24th 2008 @ 11:49. Date Gal Says:
Linh and Wyohna... good on you for being single and happy! You know what you want and you won't settle for anything less... enjoy it... you're only young, footloose and fancy free once right so why not date lots of people and see what works for you.... not everyone will get a second date but at least you're out there and trying... there should be more chicks like you!
19. November 24th 2008 @ 11:51. Date Gal Says:
Alt_ed... ah...thank you! Nice to hear from you! You're input is not redundant at all. I have a lot of gay friends and I think gay men and women can be just as fussy as hetrosexuals or even more so... I love that gay people are so confident and know what they want.. and to be honest... I think they are the most happeiest! Good luck to you and your boy!
20. March 25th 2009 @ 08:53. J hales Says:
I am 36 year old and have tried everything in the book to get in to a relationship with a woman such as: dating sites, dating agencies, pubs, clubs, social events, concerts, parties, and blind dates. I have tried for years and so far nothing but being rejected for everything but my personality. They don't even try to know me. There is a Pandemic of fussy women out there I've yet to meet a woman that would bother to know me. The pain of being alone and a 36 year old virgin is like frustration, great sadness, boredom, and stressful all in one package. While everyone I know has there own families now and I so badly want to be married and to be a father. Looks, build, height and wage seem to be the ones that matter to women when choosing a man.

It feels like women want to kill me slowly, someone help I'm already on anti-depressants and relationships Australia just tell me they don't want to hear about it. Doctors just hand out the anti-depressants there seems like there is not help for lonely guys except rip off merchants.

HELP!
21. August 15th 2009 @ 01:56. Susan T. Says:
I feel I am open to various types of men. However, it seems many of these men, who are in their late forties and early fifties, do not seem to know how to treat a woman. Examples: One man had a car, and he would not drive me home. One man promised to walk me to my building (it was late), and at the end of the evening he said, "I'm tired, would you mind it if I didn't walk you home?". When he called me for another date, I explained to him why I would not see him again. Yet another man, who made a decent salary as an attorney, took me out on not one, but TWO coffee dates. I am not a "high-maintenance" woman, but this guy was a real cheap charlie. These were not ignorant, young college men, but middle aged men, who should know better. Apparently these men were never taught how to treat women properly. Yes, I am picky, I want to be treated like a lady.
22. August 17th 2009 @ 12:47. Kryptonian007 Says:
I do not like the implication!!!

I'm not a cheap charlie, never have never will be, and I have always treated women with respect.

And the richer (attourney) a guy is don't make him more decent towards women, thats in the content of a mans character (personality).

Oh! I'm a computer tech with my own business!
23. March 27th 2010 @ 09:50. Anonymous Says:
Women are without doubt far more fussy than men.
Ive heard so many people say men go for looks and women go for personality. Yet in my experience its women who are obssesed about physical appearence and attributes. Most men will overlook a womans faults and look at the overall picture. To JHales don't get depressed, get some money and go and see a prostitute get some confidence,women hate self pity and a man with no confidence, forget about what women think of you start enjoying other things and they will come along if they don't their not worth it anyway.
24. June 13th 2010 @ 22:22. JayJ Says:
i had a girlfriend for 3 years and we both loved each other like mad, at least i thought we did - she cheated and i found out and it was a depressing painful time for me after the break up.

since then (6 years ago) i have pretty much given up thinking about relationships and love. i admit i am now just a tin can, even if a girl came up to me now and she was very attractive and a lovely person and asked me on a date, i would turn her down no question - totally not interested in any relationship ever again. all you girls seem to be is baggage and cost - not financially but emotionally and mentally.

and that's all thanks to the woman i expected to ask to marry me and spend my life with. all seems real love and then they stab you in the back and you realise that all people care for just themselves.

and dont get me wrong, im a fun person, easy to get on with, i have been told i am very kind and have a loving personality and heart towards anyone friendly i know not just girls. but i totally dont care anymore for love, all it does is hurt. and we all die 1 day, why spend life hurting yourself worrying your woman is cheating or if she really loves you - just enjoy life solo and forget them.

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