Date GalIs CYBERSEX really cheating?
My friend Paul has been dating his gorgeous girlfriend for 3 years now and has stumbled across a pass time of hers that he isn't very fond of.
You may think it's drinking, taking drugs, being a stripper - no. In fact, she likes to chat to men on the internet.
Nothing wrong with that right? We all chat to each other and we may be in relationships, etc. However, Paul's girlfriend is going a little further than just having a chat. She is having CYBERSEX with a variety of men and she is doing it most nights of the week.
Paul found out about his girlfriend's dark side when he saw quite an explicit email on their computer from one of the men. He questioned the email and his girlfriend was quite open in explaining everything.
Unforunately she had no regrets. She didn't t think she was doing anything wrong, not did she think she was cheating on Paul.
Paul didn't accept this as a suitable answer. Would you?
How would you feel if your parter felt the need to jump online and have sex with another man or woman?
Would it make you feel like your sex life was inadequate? Would you feel like your partner had to go to someone else to fulfill their needs?
If I found out my partner was having cybersex frequently and we were in a serious relationship - I would take this as CHEATING! Why would he rather get his rocks off with some in cyberland, then have REAL sex with me!
Isn't it better to get the real thing?
You may think it's drinking, taking drugs, being a stripper - no. In fact, she likes to chat to men on the internet.
Nothing wrong with that right? We all chat to each other and we may be in relationships, etc. However, Paul's girlfriend is going a little further than just having a chat. She is having CYBERSEX with a variety of men and she is doing it most nights of the week.
Paul found out about his girlfriend's dark side when he saw quite an explicit email on their computer from one of the men. He questioned the email and his girlfriend was quite open in explaining everything.
Unforunately she had no regrets. She didn't t think she was doing anything wrong, not did she think she was cheating on Paul.
Paul didn't accept this as a suitable answer. Would you?
How would you feel if your parter felt the need to jump online and have sex with another man or woman?
Would it make you feel like your sex life was inadequate? Would you feel like your partner had to go to someone else to fulfill their needs?
If I found out my partner was having cybersex frequently and we were in a serious relationship - I would take this as CHEATING! Why would he rather get his rocks off with some in cyberland, then have REAL sex with me!
Isn't it better to get the real thing?
AFL Central
hope that makes sense,probably not, i never do really
Philosophy Blog
On the plus side, she's doing it with multiple guys. So she obviously has polyamorous needs. And it's better that she satisfy them online than off.
I agree with you in that it is cheating. Just the thought of my partner thinking of being with someone else would upset me!
Wiith porn though - what are the rules here? Is it ok to let our partners watch pron and get off on another person? Isn't that cheating too?
AFL Central
But i dunno, whether it would constitue cheating or not, personally i dont think it would as long as it didnt become a permanet subsitute for the affection you show your partner, and she should be number one
AFL Central
I've indulged in cybersex with all sorts of women from all over the world. Mostly when I was single, but I did do it on the rare occasion when I was involved with someone in the real world, and it did leave a bad taste in mouth, so to speak.
I felt like I was cheating, even though I couldn't see what my cybersex partner looked like, and I couldn't hear what they sounded like. It was simply words appearing on a screen from someone on the other side of the world. I indulged because I considered it an unusually exciting (albeit frustrating) form of ephemeral escapism. Fine when you are single.
But at the end of the day, if you are in some kind of relationship, then it's cheating, because you are imparting your desires and your libido with someone other than your partner for the chief purpose of getting your rocks off.
If you can't get satisfaction from your relationship and are seeking gratification through cybersex means, then you need to re-assess your relationship.
There are of course couples who cyber-swing ....
You bring up an interesting comment of cyber swinging and in fact more and more couples are doing it now.
Brings up another topic though of swinging - would you get upset seeing your partner having sex with another person in front of you!
Might save that for another post!
AFL Central
Good Luck!
AFL Central
You seem really nice, and judging by your posts smart, intelligent and witty your guy is a lucky man
I am happily single by choice!
Thanks for the compliment though!
AFL Central
Have a good evening
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Cinema Three
I suppose you could regard this as looking at pornography...
For the Sake of Argument
My Apologetics
If you got caught you'd be skinned.
There is a line between cheating and normal human behaviour.
My wife gives me permission to look but not to oggle.
My Wedding
oh yeah, and I think that dategal and tonyk should hook up
AFL Central
Though it may not be physical it's still intentionally aimed at sexual relief/pleasure from someone other than your partner. I'd imagine they would be pretty hurt and confused if their lover was going behind their back to secretly indulge in fantasies outside a supposedly monogamous relationship.
Why would you jeopardise your existing real life relationship like that? Communicate your problems so your other half can be informed and understand what you're doing and why, to maybe explore this other side of your sexuality while your partner is involved.
"Let's talk about sex ba-bey, let's talk about you-and-me.."
Enjoyed your thoughts and your matchmaking skills!
DGx
AFL Central
Love the reference to a bit of old skool Salt and Pepper!
You're right - it's about communication and if you're going to resort to cybersex instead of real pleasure with your partner you need to talk about it!!!
PCOS Mum
I think Anon's comment was spot on when he said he'd indulged while single and while with someone and he felt like he was cheating on the someone.
The question is, if you were caught while having cybersex would you feel guilty? If yes then you're cheating.
I, personally, would consider it cheating. However, my friend may not. People should be more open and set down relationship guidelines... but I guess that may make it seem like people don't trust each other.
Relationships are based on trust and if you do have to set guidelines than maybe that does hinder trust!
But in some relationships it does work!
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
When did thought police start to intefere with fantasyland?
A person who has a healthy fantasy life is a better sex partner... everyone knows that, right?
20/20 Filmsight
Science News
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
I'm OK with it as long as both parties consent...
AFL Central
AFL Central
Horrorphile
Hmmm .... perhaps I should be gettin' another handle so I can start surreptitiously talkin' dirty to prospective cyber-players .... LMFAO
DG
Horrorphile
AFL Central
AFL Central
Hope u are well too DateGal, shame about the Swannies