Sex on the first date?
In my recent posts, the issue of sex in the first date has come up with varied opinions. It is a question that has come up over and over again with the unfair consensus that women who has sex on the first date are easy but for guys it is a conquest and if they succeed there are high fives all around.
An article in this month's Cosmopolitan introduces Nige 54 - Australia's Leading Dating Coach or so he says.
He believes that some of the best relationships can start from a one night stand. 'If there's energy and passion, and sex is the natural progression from an awesome date then why stop it?'
Quite a true statement - Johanna, a fellow blogger agrees saying ' When asked if I would have sex on the first date I always think no, but when faced with the opportunity it always seems a bit different.'
Too true - especially when they're is alcohol involved. A little too much, the beer goggles are on and we are anyones - unfortunately the sex is not always that flash.
Nige 54 also brings up another great point about how long you should wait before having sex with someone. Apparently some women have a three date rule - they wait until they have three successful dates with the same man and then they are prepared to have sex.
Nige however has had girls tell him this rule and he strongly suggests not telling your future sex buddy about your 'personal rules' as the guy will probably think 'Great, three dates and I'll get her into bed.'
It is an interesting issue with many varied views. It really depends how highly you value sex. Do you see it as an intimate, trust related, loving fulfilling event or do you see simply as getting your rocks off?
Or is it simply, just waiting until your ready? Even if it's after a 3 hour date?
An article in this month's Cosmopolitan introduces Nige 54 - Australia's Leading Dating Coach or so he says.
He believes that some of the best relationships can start from a one night stand. 'If there's energy and passion, and sex is the natural progression from an awesome date then why stop it?'
Quite a true statement - Johanna, a fellow blogger agrees saying ' When asked if I would have sex on the first date I always think no, but when faced with the opportunity it always seems a bit different.'
Too true - especially when they're is alcohol involved. A little too much, the beer goggles are on and we are anyones - unfortunately the sex is not always that flash.
Nige 54 also brings up another great point about how long you should wait before having sex with someone. Apparently some women have a three date rule - they wait until they have three successful dates with the same man and then they are prepared to have sex.
Nige however has had girls tell him this rule and he strongly suggests not telling your future sex buddy about your 'personal rules' as the guy will probably think 'Great, three dates and I'll get her into bed.'
It is an interesting issue with many varied views. It really depends how highly you value sex. Do you see it as an intimate, trust related, loving fulfilling event or do you see simply as getting your rocks off?
Or is it simply, just waiting until your ready? Even if it's after a 3 hour date?
AFL Central
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More to life than sex I thing, its just an awesome bonus
AFL Central
Or rather is it a challenge to make it better?
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Cinematrix
To answer the question of, sex on the first date? Please.
Though I do think it affects your perception of the other person (not gender biased) if they are willing to 'give it up' so quickly, as you won't see them as potenial long termers in the relationship world if they're that easy. But if you have great chemistry and are "just like that", and both really similar in that way it could work out.
But yeah, too much too soon is great for short term plans not for longer ones.
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Who was it who asked; 'does love last a lifetime' or does 'life last a lovetime.' I guess that's the big question here isn't it? I tend to agree with Cosmo's Nige, 54, because when you look back on it, the sex is secondary. Truly. Bear with me a minute. You stay with whom you stay with, regardless in the end, and as Nige says, why stop the flow. However, you haven't said whether Nige is still single or not? Is this a wild batchelor point of view?
I read something the other day that really got me thinking. Someone said 'There is nothing as overrated as bad sex and nothing as underrated as good crap!" Hmmm, interesting. Perhaps they hadn't found the right one?
In my humble opinion, sex gets better the longer you know someone, but don't overestimate the power of the one night stand as the greatest way to get to know someone better.
Thanks for another great thought provoking blog, Dategal.
Lilla.
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
I wanted to modify my comment above, as there's a typo and I cannot find the modify button on your comments list ...strange?
Anway, that should read;
'Nothing as overrated as bad sex and as underrated as A good crap." I missed the A.
Lilla.
Thanks for your comments on this post! Yes the pink had to go - had some great advice and the Orble team are helping me to improve my site! I am terrible at computers! he he!
Nige 54 is single but actively dating. He says when he meets the right girl he will settle down. You can check out his website at www.nige54.com
I agree with you - sex does get better as you get to know someone. You get to know what they like in bed and you start to lose your inhibitions that you would have the first time round.
Thanks again Lilla - really enjoy you comments
Cinematrix
In the rare instances that everything is going so well on the first date and you're thinking about it, I'd try and hold off as much as possible. To be boring and what Dr.Phil says "If it's a good idea today, it'll be a good idea tomorrow", were applied to this scenario, it would mean that surely it doesn't need to be rushed. Plus the added time together should make you more comfortable with each other and consequently better in bed due to communication and relaxation through the added time spent together.