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Date Gal - Love, Sex and Relationships

Is there any NORMAL men out there?


I often hear many women complaining about how they always choose the wrong men – they broke their hearts, they turned psycho and so one.

In a way it’s hard not to sympathise with their predicament but then you think – well maybe it’s them and not the guy? Or perhaps they choose the same type of man over and over again when they know damn well that guy is bad for them.

My friend Tennille has ever really been in a relationship with two men and unfortunately it has always ended in tears.

Her first boyfriend, Liam was a little bit older, totally handsome, and sweet and she immediately fell in love. After six months, she realised he was a control freak, arrogant, selfish and she had made the mistake of given up her whole life for him including her friends and family.


Tennille’s second boyfriend, Shaun was similar to the first boyfriend. He was arrogant, extremely selfish and very controlling. Tennille realised she wanted to live her own life and soon ditched him only to find out he was part of the mafia! Yikes!

Tennille started dating again and let’s say it hasn’t gone to plan. She met a guy who was the total opposite to the previous two – surfy looking, very caring, gracious and very romantic. Everything was going well until one weekend she went away with the girls and after a few drinks, they decided to give him a call – it seemed he was happy with the call but obviously not. After the weekend, Tennille called him and he was very cold… unfortunately her phone cut out before she could sort things out.

Two days later she got a text from him ‘Why do you always call me and hang up. Issues.’

Thinking it was a joke she called her boy and he was quite serious about the whole matter. Apparently Tennille had issues, had to sort her s%^t out and needed to stop playing games. Then she was told he didn’t want to see her as they shared different values and morals.


What the?

Her phone cuts out and now she is being painted as an immoral, game playing, psycho woman.

Her complaint now is that even though she tried to date a different sort of guy from the previous two boyfriends, she still ends up being hurt.

It makes me think then – when we complain about choosing the wrong guys, is it really us or quite simply are their an abundance of seriously complexed men out there that it’s just bad luck we keep meeting them?
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24 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. September 20th 2006 @ 06:59. Madam Minx Says:
Hmm alot of these problems are borne from women not realising how good they really are.

If the women knows her worth, refuses to take ANY crap (or prisoners!), then many of these hurtful situations can be avoided. (not all though, sometimes its just plain bad luck).

But if you come across as a confident, self-loving kinda gal, then most men can sense this and wont even try that immature behaviour on you.

I think that people get treated the way they let people treat them.
2. September 20th 2006 @ 07:08. Adrian Says:
You didn't add any of your own experience, Date Gal.

But maybe the short answer to your post is "No". There aren't any normal guys.

But are there any normal girls?
3. September 20th 2006 @ 07:25. Date Gal Says:
What great advice - thank you!

I agree - it is about self worth. If you wanted to be treated like crap go for the bastards!

The dating game can be hard at times but if we can love ourselves first than we can let someone else love us!
4. September 20th 2006 @ 07:26. Date Gal Says:
Adrian - maybe I don't do relationships? Maybe I date and can tell whether it's going to end in tears! he he!

No - and you're right. Girls aren't normal - we play games, we break hearts and we can be damn right bitchy!

That's what makes the world go round!
5. September 20th 2006 @ 07:43. Adrian Says:
So, are you doing anything Friday night? I've got two tickets to this great new movie...
6. September 20th 2006 @ 10:36. DateGal Says:
Adrian - what's the movie?
7. September 20th 2006 @ 20:02. Adrian Says:
"The Last Train to Freo". It's a new Australian film, and the director also directed the stage version, so he's had a lot of experience.

What do you reckon?
8. September 20th 2006 @ 20:35. DateGal Says:
Sounds great Adriand and thanks for the offert but I have another function I am afraid! I'm flat chat researching something.

Enjoy it though and thanks for the offer. Always nice to be asked out every now and again!
9. September 20th 2006 @ 20:40. Adrian Says:
*lol*

A shame. Will try again later on.
10. September 21st 2006 @ 00:59. Cibbuano Says:
are there any normal men? It's a pretty limited sample size - just three guys that your friend has dated.

In fact, you should really suspect that there's something about your friend that causes her to date asshole-type guys. Perhaps she's similar to that stereotype about women who like bastards.

11. September 21st 2006 @ 01:40. dategal Says:
Very true Cibbuano - however the third guy was total opposite to the first two.

I believe it's about self worth - sometimes we think we're just not worthy of a decent guy!

Who knows? The mysteries of the dating world continue!
12. September 21st 2006 @ 01:40. dategal Says:
Adrian - thanks! How funny - you don't know me and you ask me on a date?

Good on you and your confidence
13. September 21st 2006 @ 03:04. Joy Says:
Normal guys? My boyfriend's far from normal. His personality, however, complements mine, but might drive others bonkers. I guess it has to do with preference.

Also, some people (guys or girls) are just jerks.
14. September 21st 2006 @ 04:02. dategal Says:
Joy - great comment! It makes all types to make up the world.

Unfortunately sometimes it's not nice to meet a not nice guy or gal!

Oh well - they deserve each other!
15. September 21st 2006 @ 06:43. Justin Says:
From previous experience (my very first girlfriend) I've been called when she was with a bunch of friends and likewise it didn't end too well. Not to lay blame on herself or even my part; but calls to your new boy/girlfriend as a type of situational "egg on" don't seem to go down that well.

Possibly due to an expectation of what you share being intimate and thought not to be of public knowledge or possibly due to being concerned the other person appears differently from either shyness or confrontational (when in a group or facing one) that the other person wasn't used to, but was thrust into nevertheless.

Hmm, who knows, but it definitely can be a disconcerting scenario if acted out abruptly and fairly fresh in the relationship!
16. September 21st 2006 @ 07:49. Ailene Says:
babe, there's no such thing as "Normal" regardless of the gender!! hahaha Having had my fair share of playing the field & also the one who's experienced wearing the pants in the r'ship, I'd say the best way to combat such dating crisis is to be heartless. But we all know that's not possible (or could it??!! hhhm) but hey, u can always beat 'em at their own game!! hahaha
17. September 21st 2006 @ 08:02. TonyK Says:
I have to agree it is all about self worth, I have a female friend, who stayed with a guy even though he cheated on her 4 times, major self esteem issues.

which is sad really, because she would be one of the sweetest most beautiful girls you would ever have the pleasure of meeting

but yea, a lot of it has to do with self esteem and how people let themselves be treated
18. September 21st 2006 @ 09:39. DateGal Says:
Great comments guys! Well done!

I guess the lesson here is treat someone else the way you would like to be treated!

Everyone is special and deserves to be treated in a worthy way.

If we get a bad 'egg' heck cut your loses and move on. More fish in the sea as they say!
19. September 21st 2006 @ 10:44. Social Commentator Says:
I guess it depends what market you are trying to attract. Obviously these control freaks catch the bait. It also depends on where you meet these control freaks. Try changing haunts.
20. September 21st 2006 @ 10:46. Date Gal Says:
What haunts do you suggest Social Commentator?
21. September 22nd 2006 @ 00:24. Johanna Says:
Finding the right person is definitely about self worth. I think most of us find that out the hard way.
22. September 22nd 2006 @ 00:30. Bryn Says:
Murphy's Law.
23. September 22nd 2006 @ 04:19. Anonymous Says:
I enjoyed your aritcle.

I have been trying to convince women of my simplicity and lack of complexity for years ... but for some reason they tend to see my multiple personality disorder as a barrier ...

So far, I have calculated that I have 7 distinct personalities ... It seems to me that the only solution is to find 7 different girlfirends ... and only reveal one personality to each ... (and hopefully get the matches right) ...

I just hope this doesn't complicate things ... One of my personalities (#5) is very good at time management, and if he was to organise my daily/weekly schedule with 7 different girlfriends, everything would be fine, but he might not be available to do that when he's with girlfriend #5, and what if personality #4 (who hates anything to do with time management) spits the dummy big-time or sabotages the whole project? #4 is one of those personalities who always likes other blokes' girlfriends, so I wouldn't put it past him.

And then there's the problem of personality #3 (who prides himself on honesty and integrity and the truth). There's a good chance he will tell girlfriends # 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, & 7, that a good 6/7ths of him is cheating on them. And because of his honesty, he won't be able to not take 1/7th responsibility for his actions. Then, of course, he'll have to tell Girlfriend #3 herself, and she might find that being with 1/7th of a person is not enough for her ...

And so, after all that, I just thought I'd write and comfort your female readers that there are still some very simple down-to-earth guys out there like me (Oh, this is personality #5 writing this) ...

#6 has just arrived home ... I have to go ... (Don't be surprised if #6 reads this and sends you something) ...





24. September 22nd 2006 @ 05:05. dategal Says:
Anon - thanks for your email! Very relatable.

I think you blokes get a raw deal sometimes and probably some of us women over dramatise things, over analyse or take things out of context!

We have to remember that it takes all sorts to make up the world and yes at time we will have challenging people in our lives.

Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. As long as you are happy and if you're not - heck do something about it!

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