Date GalPlayers or Cowards?
“Don’t you know who I am?”
Well of course not. What a stupid question! I had only met this guy once before and even then we talked for all of 10 minutes - how on earth did I know who he was?
Despite the second time that we met I was totally drunk and actually ended up back at his bachelor pad – neat, very masculine yet inviting. And no, I did not sleep with the man. In fact, pretty much all I did was pass out and when I came to, had to lie on his bathroom floor to subside my nausea.
The next morning, I left with a kiss and that was that. However, curiosity did kill the cat and I needed to know who he was. A celebrity, a very successful businessman, a sportsman?
“Who are you? What aren’t you telling me mister?”
Just a guy out to have fun!”
I knew it – all he wants is to get me into bed. Of course, I was furious. Again I had met another man who I quite liked but it’s the same old story he wants to have fun!! Sex!! I contemplated writing him an abusive message back but I played his game!
“So you’re a player hey? Don’t worry, I’m not the commitment type.”
Okay so I lied!
“Great this could work out well!”
Yeah right – with that I hit ‘delete contact’ and another one bites the dust.
One of the biggest mysteries in relationships for me is this thing that blokes have with ‘having fun.’ Trust me, we females did not come down in the last shower – we know that this means you just want sex from us and probably every other girl in your address book. For some girls, they might be happy to ‘have fun’ and be the bloke’s booty call but there are some of us that want to be more than a 3am shag.
Why is it then that when a bloke meets a girl and after one night decides to write her a message saying ‘he just wants to have fun?’ Did at any point did the girl exhibit that she wanted more? A relationship? Marriage? Children? Pleaseeeee!!! It was one date and how on earth would a bloke know whether she just wanted to have fun too???
Fool is the bloke though – how does he not know that this girl might actually be relationship material? How would he know whether he actually physically and mentally liked her after one boozy night together? And now the poor sod, has been deleted from her life forever and will never know, whether she might have just been something special!
The girl however moves on to bigger and better things – that’s what we do best!
RIDDLE ME THIS: ARE BLOKES WHO SAY THEY 'JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN' PLAYERS OR JUST SCARED OF COMMITMENT?
Well of course not. What a stupid question! I had only met this guy once before and even then we talked for all of 10 minutes - how on earth did I know who he was?
Despite the second time that we met I was totally drunk and actually ended up back at his bachelor pad – neat, very masculine yet inviting. And no, I did not sleep with the man. In fact, pretty much all I did was pass out and when I came to, had to lie on his bathroom floor to subside my nausea.
The next morning, I left with a kiss and that was that. However, curiosity did kill the cat and I needed to know who he was. A celebrity, a very successful businessman, a sportsman?
“Who are you? What aren’t you telling me mister?”
Just a guy out to have fun!”
I knew it – all he wants is to get me into bed. Of course, I was furious. Again I had met another man who I quite liked but it’s the same old story he wants to have fun!! Sex!! I contemplated writing him an abusive message back but I played his game!
“So you’re a player hey? Don’t worry, I’m not the commitment type.”
Okay so I lied!
“Great this could work out well!”
Yeah right – with that I hit ‘delete contact’ and another one bites the dust.
One of the biggest mysteries in relationships for me is this thing that blokes have with ‘having fun.’ Trust me, we females did not come down in the last shower – we know that this means you just want sex from us and probably every other girl in your address book. For some girls, they might be happy to ‘have fun’ and be the bloke’s booty call but there are some of us that want to be more than a 3am shag.
Why is it then that when a bloke meets a girl and after one night decides to write her a message saying ‘he just wants to have fun?’ Did at any point did the girl exhibit that she wanted more? A relationship? Marriage? Children? Pleaseeeee!!! It was one date and how on earth would a bloke know whether she just wanted to have fun too???
Fool is the bloke though – how does he not know that this girl might actually be relationship material? How would he know whether he actually physically and mentally liked her after one boozy night together? And now the poor sod, has been deleted from her life forever and will never know, whether she might have just been something special!
The girl however moves on to bigger and better things – that’s what we do best!
RIDDLE ME THIS: ARE BLOKES WHO SAY THEY 'JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN' PLAYERS OR JUST SCARED OF COMMITMENT?
Not that I'm endorsing this kind of "practice", but yeah, from my friends beliefs they only care about commitment as far as it concerns regularity picking up the booty call.
Harsh reality or honesty you have to give credit for, (or both?).
...Why is it whenever I'm talking about guys practices I either feel uncomfortable or an urge to lie to either decieve or to support female worries?
Tell me then - do you think gals are just as good at this practice as well?
Also, girls are known to be more apprehensive towards 'sex without a relationship', so for anything to come to fruition, the guy feels like he has to promise other things as a smoke screen to what he's really wanting, and for the girl to finally realise what she wants to.
As for the girls practices at this; it's done less overtly, more persuasive and most often better executed. But, like I really know about how girls operate to talk about it clearly..
There is a little book called 'Date like a Man' which is a bible (and I'll write more about it after) but basically it teaches us gals to have a Pair and a Spare model.
Technically we date three guys at once and it solves the problems of waiting for him to call, or not having someone to see on a Friday night as you will always have 3 blokes to choose from.
Look at Samatha from Sex and the City! Trust me there are plenty of gals out there on the hunt for the continuous booty call!
Anyone agree?
Small Business Scope
If the guy can't get her into bed without lying to her - he should go hunt elsewhere 'cause chances are he has no idea what the girl really wants.
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior
But fun doesn't always mean sex!
Luke - short and sweet and totally true! Should be more blokes out there with those thoughts!
Cinico - you are so right about society's view that it's ok for blokes to sleep around but not chicks! But let's face it - times have changed. We're just as busy and successful as blokes are these days and when it comes to dating maybe we don't have time or want a relationship - just a sleep over buddy!
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior
Like Samantha from SatC and Madonna they illustrate archetypes of female empowerment through sexual freedom and this is all well and good but realistically the amount of non-fiction women who act like this and treat guys like that is seldom.
If I'm wrong more fool me, cause I'm obviously missing out!
We all don't want romance, marriage, children.... once in a while a one nigth stand is all we care for.
We have needs to and well if we need sex but don't want all the stuff afterwards we make it known!
Unfortunately some ladies don't admit to this as society accepts men sleeping around but not women! Sad!
its much much better than manipulating you and making you believe that its love to get into your pants.
yeah well they're players.. dont bother wasting your time with them =) you're worth sooo much more than that!
Yes I have had my fair share of players and now I am a little clued up so I know what I am getting myself into!
But let's face it - and I am one of them, gals too play a lot of games!!
Right?
The plot thickens...
What do you think they are?
Probably is but I'm not sure.
I think the game of suggestions is definitely a playground most girls hang out in whereas guys are more forthright and rather play in a yes or no ballpark but will decide later which to attend.
That's pretty metaphorical but the best concept I come up with at the moment.
I think you're right about the game of suggestion - I think both sexes can be guilty of not being upfront and telling each other what they want!!!
Ah- the joys of dating!