Date GalThe X Files
Unfortunately, this is not a review or a post about the 90s smash hit show 'The X Files,' - not really a fan of sci fi!
Instead, I wanted to discuss a dilemma that would probably come up in most peoples' love lives at some stage - SHOULD I GET BACK WITH MY EX?
A work colleague of mine, Sophie broke up with her boyfriend 18 months ago. It was a messy break up but she had to do it as she was really unhappy and realised that her boyfriend was really selfish and not the man she fell in love with.
She did however want to remain friends, however he felt otherwise and didn't want to speak to her again! She found out through friends that he started dating another woman, in fact he was cheating with this same woman when they were still together. Lucky she got out of the relationship when she did!
Sophie moved on from her cheating partner but 6 months later she received a text message from him saying how much he missed their sex life and wanted to see her. Little did he know that she knew he was still with his current partner so she ignored the text and deleted his number all together.
Only a couple of weeks ago, she heard from him again. He was still with the girlfriend, in fact she had recently moved in but things were apparently not good in their relationship.
Again, he put it on her to meet up - he missed her and really wanted to see her. Sophie decided that perhaps he would go away if they did meet up - that perhaps when he saw her, all the bad things that happened between them would come flashing back!
They did meet - over a couple wines they caught up on old times and even if Sophie doesn't admit, I think she still felt something for her ex. Of course, he put it on her to have sex but of course, the girl has brains and said no.
But now she is questioning whether she does want to be with him again. They did have a great sex life, he made her laugh and meeting up reminded her how much fun they do have when they're together!
I am undecided about the whole going back to the ex issue! I've always believed that you can never go back but other couples have proved me wrong! Hence, I am a bit stuck for advice for her.
What would you do in this case? Sleep with your ex for old time's sake and see if a relationship develops OR put him in his spot and move on???
Remember though... he does still have a current partner! What about her?
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Self reightous pricks really. You don't just leave this people be, you should crush their self esteem into a fine paste.
I don't think you have to be an expert on this one!!!
Maybe it's just common sense but sometimes as they say 'love is blind' and we can't pick the bastards!
Or perhaps, some of us woman prefer to be treated like that!
Who knows!
So now I was interested, she was interested, but she wanted to take things slow because she was only recently single. I'd met the guy, nice bloke. But she assured me she was over him, he just wasn't quite out of her life.
I just got an SMS to brighten my night, after 13 hellish hours at work. She's back with the ex. What a cop-out - is it so hard to tell me in person?
/rant
In the last year or two, I've had a couple of opportunities to get back together with exes - I go by the phrase "Never go back". There's a reason they broke up and regardless of how much one may have appeared to change, etc - people rarely ever do.
My 2c.
I am sorry that you had to experience someone you liked going back to their ex - perhaps have comfort though in the thought that she will realise what a fool she was getting back with her ex and that she lost such a great bloke in you!
I agree with the comment that you break up for a reason in the first place - leopards I don't believe can change their spots, so why go through the whole terrible ordeal again?
Can relationships be better the second time around?
Hahaha read some of my stories sometime, you might change your tune on that one
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It looks like a general consensus is that you don't go back - onwards and upwards!
DUMP THE CHUMP
'nuff said.
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But I do feel that, forgiving people is a great asset and not everyone can do(including myself... ). I am not necessarily implying that they need to get back together. They could still be friends... or could hope the future would turn out to be better.
The whole forgiving each other and being friends - can it really work?
Can you really be friends with an ex?
Even forgive them for cheating?
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They do say time heals all wounds, but Im not overly sure; I guess it depends on the individual. I think you can still be friends with an ex depending upon how amicable the break up was, but if someone cheated on me I'd never want anything to do with them because they broke my trust
Diet Dog
So yes he's a turd, however I have caught up with an ex before and the sex was great, both of us knowing we weren't re-establishing the relationship. Perhaps that's why it was great. By the way, have you given your friend any advice yet? MB
I think she knows in the back of her mind that it is wrong!
Question for you though - how did either of you not rekindle your feelings for the other when you did have sex? Was it a one off thing or did it continue?
Diet Dog
Cheers for your honesty and openess!